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No. 394660
Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.
Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.Old threads
>>>/g/310088>>>/g/212315>>>/g/49996 No. 394715
Does anyone here have any experience with getting an early bloodtest to determine the foetus' sex?
I have one daughter now and would love to have more but the chances of having a son make me not want to risk it. So the earlier I would know in a pregnancy the more time I would have to make up my mind whether I would want to go through with it or abort. There's no way a OBGYN or midwife here would offer such a test though so I would have to find a commercial provider. Something like SneakPeek, although I don't think they ship to Europe
Sorry I'm rambling a bit, I'm stressing the fuck out because my period is becoming more irregular over the years and I feel like my time is running out
>>394703This is a good way to decribe it anon. Baby fever is not something you have, but rather a feeling of wanting
No. 394793
>>394715Since we are making wild suggestions, I suggest you have the father cum in a cup then spin the cup around like a centrifuge (gently if possible), take an oral syringe and collect the sperm at the bottom of the cup. X sperm cells are heavier and would ostensibly be at the bottom of the cup and thus you'd have a syringe full of X sperm cells.
But to be serious, please don't restrict nutrients deliberately for 2 months. I hate that idea for you and the fetus/baby.
No. 395010
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how do you manage? I feel like a hot mess and forget appointments and such (nothing too important ofc, I just feel bad) what is a "checklist" of everything you need to do as a parent
No. 395039
>>395010Nonna its alright just calm down. You don't need to be doing all of that and pressuring yourself either. Honestly at least I just focus on hanging out with and making sure the baby is fine. That's already more than enough work! Yes sometimes the dishes stay overnight in the sink and get washed during the next naptime, yes sometimes there's toys all around and at the end of the day you're too exhausted to do anything about that and there's absolutely no reason to feel less accomplished. The baby for sure won't mind. Honestly imo the mega organized clean girl aesthetic açai bowl green smoothie era of life is when you're not currently facing the biggest challenge life can give you, which is raising a little human. Nonna its okay just relax dont make yourself crazy.
The thing about appointments, I use telegram as a chat messenger and there you can make a channel for yourself + your husband and schedule messages. So I write every appointment in there and then schedule a message the day before/the morning of the day to repeat the appointment text again so I get a notification.
No. 395079
>>395037I am sure maaaany women have had children due to extreme horniness throughout history. Biological imperative.
I wanted children in my life - specifically, I wanted children that were older than 4 and not a baby or toddler. So I didn't think it through fully and having a baby is hard but not the hardest thing I've done.
I will say that pregnancy was the least sexy experience of my life and, because we planned our baby, copulative sex was no where near as much "fun" as the spontaneous sex I've had. Maybe if our baby had been unplanned I'd think differently about this entirely.
No. 395080
>>395010Is your husband or partner helping you with childcare? I get everything done by eating simple meals, and asking my husband to help with laundry and cleaning (he does) i only have one kid, but I don't keep a checklist. I do agree with this list's idea of not having a phone around at specific times - but I have a phone addiction and need that sort of rule.
As for appointments, I have a google calendar widget on my phone and I add the appointment to my calendar as soon as the appointment is made (at the doctor's office or whilst still on the phone). You can add attendees to the event too, if someone else needs to remember. I like the other nonna's idea about the telegram channel
No. 395241
>>395233Saying the baby could be "fussy" already a lowkey
abusive and deranged way to play this down. Like the baby is so dramatic?? that along with the basically trauma of being born and having to be adjusted to the world itself he also got part of his anatomy removed in an area with a A LOT of nerve endings and is in constant pain that doesn't get any relief until his tiny body can grow scar tissue over it.
No. 395502
>>395418To be fair, we also get all of our information and even majority of our education is exclusively online now. That being said, because of this internet moderators need to be more careful with fear mongering/false information as that's how most people get their research but you also can't necessarily blame new moms for asking questions and curiosity before making a decision. Truth is most of you are just as credible as women are mommy forums swearing babies need to be circumcised for their health, calling someone
abusive for asking questions about common birth decisions sounds pretty unhinged imo but you also can't necessarily treat women like they're villains for not immediately knowing the "right" choices over things that have such debated choices
No. 395695
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Not a mom yet and won't be anytime soon but want to be. How do parents now cope with climate change and how quickly the earth is changing for the worse? Random but it's something I always think about. I would feel so guilty if I have kids and in a few decades the earth is barely habitable and they have to eat roaches cause those are the only thing that manged to survive. Or is it just knowing that there's always something terrible happening and that shouldn't necessarily stop you from having children because chances are everything will be ok?
No. 395760
>>395571>>395520>>395268>>395231There's also a pretty decent chance the circumcision hurts hetero women in the long run too.
Making genitals less sensitive sure sounds like a great way to push someone towards more extreme ways of getting their rocks off.
No. 395789
>>395502>calling someone abusive for asking questions about common birth decisions sounds pretty unhinged imoAnon read the comment chain more closesly. No one said she was
abusive for asking abiut circumcision. They called her retarded though and said the practice is
abusive. Reading comprehension is important but is a skill that can be learned
No. 395915
>>395792Probably things like this?
>>395755 In the last thread someone was wishing miscarriages on anons too. There are either some childfree retards hate reading these or moids
No. 396698
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It's been hard getting baby to sleep and husband wants to do CIO. I have had luck getting him to sleep quietly and within 30 min by cosleeping or laying next to him before he falls asleep and then transferring him to his bed (pretend cosleeping, if you will). We've been using the snoo but he is about to grow out of it. I want to delay or avoid CIO if possible and want to pursue cosleeping/pretend cosleeping.
What sort of crib should I get for my baby that will let me do this cosleeping/pretend cosleeping thing with him for as long as possible? I see cribs like pic related but I only want to get 1 crib until he ages out to a real bed. I'm willing to do just a matress on the floor or anything bootleg/not esthetic
My priorities are
>pretend cosleeping over actual cosleeping, or the ability to cosleep for naps but not at night
>not transferring baby to his bed (risks waking him)
>needs to be something not too inconvenient or else husband might not do it
>baby ideally sleeps in room separate from adults so one adult can have deep sleep while other feeds baby (low priority)
No. 396703
>>396698Cry it out is abuse. Like you're just causing adrenaline and cortisol spikes in the baby which is detrimental long term for their health, and disrupts ability to sleep even further until they become so exhausted that they give up knowing that no one is coming and dissociate until they basically pass out. Literally
abusive shit and just further proof that moid takes have NO business in anything related to childcare. Do not give in to this absolute garbage. How old is your baby also? I have been cosleeping and then changed to putting simply the baby mattress surrounded by pillows on the floor next to our bed. So when my daughter wakes at night, I lay with her to breastfeed and then slide away once she's asleep. No transfer and nothing and safe solo sleep.
No. 396710
>>396703Yeah I know CIO is shit
With a mattress on the floor, I'd have to prevent baby from rolling off? Other than hitting his head (say i have soft carpet or something) is there a risk from baby rolling off and sleeping on carpet? When does suffocation risk from mattress/carpet disappear (google seems to suggest either after 6 months or 12 months)?
>>396706Do you recommend against cosleeping because any reason other than suffocation? I favor pretend cosleeping (I'm next to him but get up after he falls asleep) for that reason.
We have been trying different stuff but I agree we should try to be more flexible about it. Bouncing him in a carrier works but it takes longer than me laying next to him and he cries sometimes with the carrier. I don't have a swing yet but I feel like the swing would end up being similar the snoo.
No. 396755
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Protip for new moms: the kids preferred Mickey Mouse high contrast collection has some of the highest quality newborn toys I have been able to find. I am disappointed I didn't find out about it until my kid was past the colorblind stage and hope this post will save other women this grief.
Pic related can be used as high contrast cards when the baby is small and a tissue box emptying game when she is older. They also have high contrast books that can be used as stuffed animals once the baby is bigger and a really nice tummy time mirror/car mirror with high contrast dangling toys.
No. 396757
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>>395741Have you tried interactive books like this one? What if you make wacky faces and sounds while reading? My baby thinks normal books are lame but books that make mommy act like a clown are fun.
No. 397254
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Am I the only one who feels like she should alter her wardrobe for her baby? I saw a fugly rainbow dress at the store the other day and I kind of regret not getting it because my baby likes rainbows. I'm thinking I should probably start looking for cute running shoes too so I can follow her efficiently when she starts being mobile.
No. 397256
Protip: if your baby is over six months old, you can share your mother's day cake with them. If they can't handle the cake part of the cake yet you can just let them lick frosting. It's really cute to watch.
>>396923Yeah you should probably tell the midwife every time just to be safe. Sometimes they are so busy they forget to ask.
>>396918I knew I wanted kids since I was a kid myself, but it was more about not wanting to miss out on an experience and not wanting to be alone at 80 years old than about liking kids. I hated kids, actually. But now that I'm a mother I love mine very much.
>>397075For me it made PPD better because it allowed me to get more sleep. My baby often only sleeps in one hour chunks unless she is on a human.
No. 397497
>>396891I get what you mean about potential to make ppd worse - it's a delicate thing and all women have different histories/biology that make their risk and symptom intensity different so some women are sensitive to things others aren't.
We're about to move but I'll definitely look into swings to buy after if baby is small enough for them still.
No. 397499
>>397281That is so cute.
>>397377Sorry nonna that would suck. you should talk to him about it - expect the possibility that he'll get defensive and feel criticized but if it's important to you it's worth it. You don't want this feeling to get dragged out through the years
No. 397659
>>397547>"I guess I am just the worst" usual moid deflection and inability to apologize and accept responsibility. I think he really just doesn't care.Not suprised at all.
I got my husband to snap out of this pattern of behavior by calling him out whenever he'd use logical fallacies (had to look them up first/memorize the names, what the signs are, why they're shit) and then shame him for it.
My husband sees himself as ~smart~ so I knew that making it clear that
>I'm trying to solve a problem I'm having and instead of collaborating to find the solution /help me find some objective truth that we can both agree on, he is derailing the conversation and keeping us stagnant >I see him as weak-minded when this happenswould motivate him. Idk if your husband would respond the same way but it's worked for me (this one thing he still disappoints me in other ways). I could see it making things worse if your husband has some other issues
No. 397673
>>397377Can you tell someone else to talk to him about it? Sometimes shame works better. If you tell him you’re sad about it he could think of it as a you problem, but if someone else tells him he’s a failure for not doing it he might understand it’s a him problem.
Unless you wanna just tell him directly he’s supposed to do that, that’s fine too.
No. 397835
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Americans will have meltdowns about how you need to be rear facing until your kid is 4-6 on the dot and if the buckle is even slightly below their nipple line they'll literally die… Just to throw their kids on a seatbeltless school bus that throws around little kids kek
No. 398100
Postpartum rage is kicking my ass right now. I love my baby, I really do, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I see red, and I have to step away to cool down. I had a breakdown today because she just kept spitting up on every onesie I put her in, until there were literally none left. I couldn’t even cry, because my crying makes her cry, so I have to do it silently. I wish people talked about these parts of motherhood too. It sucks, I’m tired, I’m sleep deprived. I am never gonna hurt my baby, but I no longer look at those infanticide cases from a mother with postpartum mental illness with disgust anymore. If I didn’t have support, I could be a monster too. It’s so bad. I’m afraid that one day, I’ll be alone and I’ll do something stupid in this rage. I wish I could be the patient mother she deserves.
No. 398119
>>398100Deep breath anon, you’re doing a wonderful job. It won’t always be like this, this is an incredibly big adjustment and it’s beyond understandable to feel angry etc. Especially when sleep deprived.
Be patient with yourself, you’re doing great
No. 398168
>>398148Interview heavily about how they are with scheduling anon. My first midwife put me on an awful feeding schedule that damn near drove me insane and turned out to not even be necessary (wanted me to pump after every single feed despite baby being EBF, almost called CPS claiming my milk supply would be dropping and I'd be starving my child despite the fact I had an oversupply). Not the first time I've heard of midwives pushing "pump after every feed from day one".
Also pain management - make sure you get pain management and midwives aren't going to fight against opioids if you need it, make sure they realize the importance of proper post partum care and sleep, etc. all of this can make or break your experience
No. 398214
>>398100Every time I get annoyed with my baby it has been because I have set expectations that aren't realistic. Working on accepting substandard-to-you conditions might help you and it isn't forever. Baby can wear spit-upy outfits, for instance, or maybe a drool bib would help buffer some of the mess?
Also saying outloud "oh you're having a hard time right now, aren't you" over and over when my baby is fussy helps remind me that my baby is having a hard time and needs my help, and is not giving me a hard time.
If you need to walk away from baby and let her cry or sit in spit up for 5 minutes, it is better than getting mad.
I am sure you know but it's really important that you dig deep and try to find a solution that doesn't involve you getting mad or harming baby. Do anything and everything to not let the annoyance turn to anger and spiral. Wear earplugs, listen to goofy music, let her stay dirty and call her stinky butt until you calm down, whatever it takes to diffuse the tension.
No. 398510
>>398489This 100% sounds like me before I started taking methylcobalamin (b12) and iron. It isn't normal to be exhausted like that. Have you ever gotten a blood draw to check for deficiencies?
The acceptable ranges for ferritin are misleading. "Normal" for women is 13 to 150 ng/mL but anything less than 30 ng/mL is considered iron deficiency without anemia.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8002799/The lack of sleep is exhausting but I am not overhwlemed because my husband helps me. The most important decision you will make in your life is selecting the man to have kids with. Pick someone who will help you with chores and the baby and who is mentally/emotional mature. Your experience will be alot better and you won't be crazy tired.