>>157088I do believe my grandma and mom when they tell me this, but I’ve never been super into wanting kids. I really didn’t want kids until I met my current partner, just because I think he’d be such a good dad. I feel like I would have the kids and just be absent then, like my dad who worked a lot and didn’t spend much time with us. My man would do all the child rearing. But then I just think of all the time I would miss out on with him, and all the time we’d waste on these kids, which sucks. It’s such an insane choice, to give up all your time and energy and make it someone else’s who doesn’t even have a fully developed brain.
Recently family has been visiting with two young kids and it’s been awful hanging out with them. They don’t listen when you want to chat, they want to watch the same YouTube meme videos over and over and over and over, they have terrible attention spans, and they whine and cry because they have no patience. We went to a theme park and they didn’t even want to ride the rides. I love their parents so it’s weird to have this struggle, like seeing them give their kids unregulated access to the internet when I know what’s on YouTube and what they are likely stumbling across. I like to think if I ever had kids they would love to be outside and we would have a lot of fun, but kids are people and they might hate all the things I like. Not to mention if I’m cursed with one of those born-violent moids that make your life hell until they run away from home and are in and out of jail for the rest of their lives. I couldn’t forgive myself if I brought that into the world.
I also feel like being pregnant would be horrible. I would love to be doted on and treated gently, but I don’t like that fetish moids would get off looking at me, or that people would still be fucking rude anyway because people are assholes, or that basically everyone who looks at me is just recognizing me as a uterus. When I think about it, it feels like being pregnant in public is like being at the gynecologist in public. It’s hard to explain, maybe somebody else knows what I’m talking about. It’s like your uterus walks into the room before you do. I just don’t know if it’s worth it, maybe I’ll secretly change my IUD and just tell my moid we’re infertile. I am also terrified of having post-partum psychosis. I think PPD is a guarantee for me.