/g/ - girl talk

>>398128
If you know it's not usual why would you try to put your own input? Makes no sense

>>398148
Interview heavily about how they are with scheduling anon. My first midwife put me on an awful feeding schedule that damn near drove me insane and turned out to not even be necessary (wanted me to pump after every single feed despite baby being EBF, almost called CPS claiming my milk supply would be dropping and I'd be starving my child despite the fact I had an oversupply). Not the first time I've heard of midwives pushing "pump after every feed from day one".

Also pain management - make sure you get pain management and midwives aren't going to fight against opioids if you need it, make sure they realize the importance of proper post partum care and sleep, etc. all of this can make or break your experience

>>398100
Every time I get annoyed with my baby it has been because I have set expectations that aren't realistic. Working on accepting substandard-to-you conditions might help you and it isn't forever. Baby can wear spit-upy outfits, for instance, or maybe a drool bib would help buffer some of the mess?
Also saying outloud "oh you're having a hard time right now, aren't you" over and over when my baby is fussy helps remind me that my baby is having a hard time and needs my help, and is not giving me a hard time.
If you need to walk away from baby and let her cry or sit in spit up for 5 minutes, it is better than getting mad.
I am sure you know but it's really important that you dig deep and try to find a solution that doesn't involve you getting mad or harming baby. Do anything and everything to not let the annoyance turn to anger and spiral. Wear earplugs, listen to goofy music, let her stay dirty and call her stinky butt until you calm down, whatever it takes to diffuse the tension.

I really want to have my first baby but just general hygiene chores, the 2 hours in the gym and general house cleaning chores completely exhaust me and all I want to do is lie down the rest of my time. I'm worried that I won't be able to cope with how much attention the baby will need.

>>398489
This 100% sounds like me before I started taking methylcobalamin (b12) and iron. It isn't normal to be exhausted like that. Have you ever gotten a blood draw to check for deficiencies?
The acceptable ranges for ferritin are misleading. "Normal" for women is 13 to 150 ng/mL but anything less than 30 ng/mL is considered iron deficiency without anemia. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8002799/

The lack of sleep is exhausting but I am not overhwlemed because my husband helps me. The most important decision you will make in your life is selecting the man to have kids with. Pick someone who will help you with chores and the baby and who is mentally/emotional mature. Your experience will be alot better and you won't be crazy tired.

>>397529
i'd choose the miniskirt over the sack with elastic waistband as it has darts and a zipper closure and learing how to sew them opens for you possibily of sewing tops and dresses

>>397574
>>398183
Thanks! Wouldn't the miniskirt be a little too difficult for someone who's never sewed clothes before though? I've only sewed plush toys when I was a preteen and nothing really after that. Anyway I did send some patterns to my instructor so I'm also waiting to hear back from her beforr buying/printing.

>>398314
I mean it's sewing in elastic and simple pockets vs invisible zipper and darts, take your pick. There's no significant difference in difficulty. Otherwise they're both as simple skirts as you can get, you can't do much less and still have a skirt.

>>398314
my first real project was a dress with multiple darts and i only had some previous really basic sewing experience and i knew how to operate a sewing machine only. darts aren't hard to sew, only thing you need to remember to sew the tip of dart slightly curved, not straight (especially bust darts). invisible zipper is a bit more diffictult but the key to getting it right is good iron on interfacting, basting it first for stability and presser foot for sewing in invisible zipper. maybe i'm biased against cringe millennial indie pattern overpriced sacks i guess. miniskirt pattern is cute and a timeless classic

>>398447
>>398391
I really appreciate the feedback, since I really don't know much about the difficulty of doing things. Thanks for helping a newbie with all this!

>>387954
Good luck anon! ♥

>>387600
> I don't have a developed personality outside of my impulsive behaviour.
>However, I can’t explain to them that I don't enjoy ordinary activities and that I struggle to find fulfilment without engaging in impulsive behaviours.

This is hitting so close to home. My only hobbies rn are getting drunk and doing cocaine. One of my relatives pointed this out to me but nothing works, any other activity bores me.

>>387954
good luck nonny

That's it, I've ended the cope and admitted to myself that I'm addicted to weed. I've been smoking daily for five years, and only coped because when I had to stop for a week or so (going on family visits, holidays etc.) it was pretty easy so I felt like it wasn't a real addiction and I could just stop whenever. In those times when I stopped for a bit, I would always think about how nice it was, and how I should quit, if only for a bit… and then would start again like nothing had happened. I'm putting an end to this and really want to stop, especially since I mostly smoke with tobacco thus memed myself into being addicted to that too. I know I'll never ditch weed completely out of my life, but I want it to become a special occurence, like shrooms and other substances, that I enjoy and indulge in a few times a year but not on the regular.

It's hard because I live with someone that smokes, but my mind is set now and I already feel more free and in control of myself. It was also harder than I thought because I can now feel my emotions 100%, and my depressive state hit me like never before. It was a wake-up call because now that I can really feel how out of it and depressed I have been all this time, I feel even more drive to overcome that state. I'm still smoking one hit or two every night to get myself to sleep, but I'll try to quit totally when I can afford to miss a night of sleep and finally regulate my sleep pattern.

I've written and drawn a cute journal entry to remind myself of why I'm quitting by listing all the negatives, then the positives. Of course the negatives far outweigh the positives, so I drew a tilted scale to symbolize that. I then picture myself in my mind, 10 years from now, still addicted to weed with yellow teeth, droopy eyes, foggy memory and slurred speech. Then, I picture my ideal self 10 years from now, a stacy that has control of her life and is ambitious, motivated and clear-minded. These two things really help me get away from negatives thoughts and focus on the future and the positives I already feel after quitting for a bit.

Is anyone else trying to quit weed or slow down?

>>398434
I’m riding a sober wave in an attempt to quit edibles. Even the benign withdrawal symptoms can be awful if you’re stressed. I typically get really vivid dreams when I don’t take an edibles before I sleep and holy shit, they turn into the most realistic nightmares. I’ve woken up in a dead panic and been inconsolable for hours because of a dream where everyone I loved died and I couldn’t get them on the phone to check. It was awful. Even if you know it’s just a dream your body is still responding and dumping hormones and adrenaline.
Now that things in my life are calmer my vivid withdrawal dreams aren’t as inclined to turn into psychological torture so I’m taking the chance to quit. The edibles are getting too expensive anyway and I can’t justify the cost any more, not to mention the memory dysfunction that comes with regular use. Like you I feel a lot better when I’m not using, weed really should just be a nice little treat during good times or with chill friends.

>>397399
It just makes sense to wear flowy fabrics in summer. Sometimes I think we pressure ourselves to look goth 24/7. It's fine if people can wear velvet in hot weather. But we don't have to. Goth is about the music and if people want to wear a black tee and jeans, that's cool. If I want to wear bohemian goth clothing in summer, that's cool too. Wearing corsets in the heat screaming I'M MELTING! is optional.

>>397834
>Diva Destruction coming
Ahh that's amazing. You're in for a treat anon, going off what I've seen in videos of them performing live, they sound just as good in person. Have fun!

>>398002
>Freya is gonna be there
After all the controversy going on with her that's being discussed in the altcows threads ,all I can muster is an eye roll but kudos to those who still like her content.

>>398187
Oh for sure, I'm very aware that we don't have to look stereotypical 24/7. Hell at my age (early 30s), I don't really go all out on a daily basis like I did in my early 20s because I know that clothes don't make the goth, it's the music and I still enjoy it. Besides the dark boho look is so fun and forgiving for the summer time so you can't really go wrong there haha.

>>398221
I wasn't a Freya fan, sometimes I watched her videos but never kept up with her life. After she had children her content became boring. I've seen the alt board. Agree that Freya's malingering diagnosis was to fund WGT tickets. It was called and not a surprise when she announced she was going. I still think she doesn't represent the goth community, I just mentioned to nonna that she will be there.

>>398420
Oh okay anon. I admit I used to be a fan of hers in the beginning of her channel but I grew bored of her content before she even had her kids when most of what she would do were just Killstar and Dark-In-Love shills. She's good at displaying clothes but the clothes itself got boring to look at (I prefer thifts tbh) and that was most of the only thing she'd talk about and I eventually got bored and would only watch on occasion.

Ever since she had her kids though, she has gotten so shameless it's embarrassing and I agree, in no way would she be a good representative of the goth scene.

>>397936
Please dump him I promise he’s not worth it.

>>397448
ayrt, congratulations nonna, and for sure your ex was severely pornsick - pornsick scrotes only tend to like vagina when it's hairless and pink and even then they'll rarely go down on you. I'm glad this experience was the opposite though, and that he was enthusiastic to please you even if you didn't shower. A lot of the same men I described above have also said they prefer it when she doesn't shower or has just been working out, it's something to do with the pheromones I think. Good for you, I hope he treats you well!

>>397926
>>397936
If you ovulated later in your cycle then you typically menstruate around that many days late too. So could be that before you ever had unprotected sex and before you ever were stressed out about that.. you were already set to be 'behind schedule' this month due to later OV

If he was pushing you on the no condom thing and it wasn't just a mutual 'not thinking in the moment' thing.. I would get tf out of that relationship so fast.

Incoming sexually frustrated rant:
I’m pretty sure that I have vaginismus. I’m 21, still a kissless hugless vigin, never been in a relationship and I’m probably not going to get in one anytime soon (I’m a shut in). I don’t know if it’s just bad luck, shit genes, or if god refuses to let me procreate or what but I hate it. I can’t even use tampons because they hurt. I know this sounds silly and vaginismus is common, but I feel like a failure somehow. Like I’m less of a woman, even though I know it’s not true and I literally have a vagina. The worst part is, I desperately DESPERATELY want to. I have a sex drive and I get horny. Sure, I can get off just fine by playing with my clit but I’ve done it for years and I’m getting bored. I can get one finger in there, but it’s like my vagina doesn’t stretch properly or something. Whenever I try to get another finger in there I just can’t. Even if I’m wet and want to REALLY bad, I just feel really tight. Like yes, I know that sex doesn’t equal penetration, but I fucking WANT penetration, at least to try on my own. Not for a moid or anyone else, but for myself. It’s not even a me not liking it or being scared of it thing. I like masturbating and it feels good. Sometimes I’ll use my vibrator which works great on my clit, but whenever I try to put it in I can’t get anything other than the tip of it in. When I can do it with a finger in there it feels good, not as good as the clit but it’s decent.

So I’m at a complete loss of what to do, and naturally, I agonize over it. What if I get with a moid someday and I want to have sex and I can’t, and then he gets disappointed and he leaves me or something? What if I end up with a girl and she tries to use a strap on or something and then I just can’t, I ruin it and then she leaves? What if I need to get a pap smear done someday and I can’t, and I end up traumatized because of the pain? What if I want to have kids and I can’t? Am I just defective? Why me of all people? Like if I were asexual it would be okay but I’m bi and it’s not fair! God is a fucking sadist by making me horny and then not even letting me get fucked by anyone or even be able to get any penetration because pussy too small. It feels so embarrassing. Please help.

>>398397
Hi nonna, I have a very similar issue to you and understand you so much especially the part where you said you feel like less of a woman. It really sucks to have something that should be naturally pleasurable be associated with pain instead. I can insert a tampon and 2 fingers but anything beyond that burns like hell and takes a long time to "loosen up". Even for my first cervical smear they used the child-sized speculum and it burned so much and took ages to get in.
I don't know what country you're in but most countries have dilator sets that you can buy to train your pelvic floor muscles to relax upon insertion. However even I found the smallest ones of these quite painful to insert, so I would honestly recommend you try an inflatable dildo if that stuff is even available to you. I'm in the UK and got mine from Lovehoney. I know it sounds retarded and funny but this was literally the only thing that would help me break through that "tight wall" feeling that you get on insertion. The bonus of the inflatable ones is that you can sort of insert the thing when it's soft/semi-soft so your vaginal walls aren't stretching as much and you can squish it around and just insert a tiny bit at a time.

Ofc I would also recommend speaking to a good gyno or doctor about this but I understand that many of them are very dismissive or just pull the "have a glass of wine/use lube" shit so if you fancy taking it into your own hands instead I would recommend and see if you can get what I mentioned above. For the first week of using it I would literally just insert like a tip of the deflated dildo around the entrance of the vaginal canal and have it sit there while I'd watch a Netflix show or something kek. It was soft enough to not push against the walls or stretch them at all yet I could still get something up there. Of course this is just my experience and yours may differ but in my experience they are much better than trying to train your muscles with hard objects like tampons/dilators etc.

Also try to constantly remind yourself that vaginismus is both a physical and mental condition. Your brain knows from previous experiences that penetration = pain so before you've even inserted anything, your muscles have already tensed up in anticipation of pain, thus causing even more pain. It's like getting ready for a football to hit your face or something. If you do Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>398281
what's her new twitter anyway

the voice actor for shinji is a tif but she was/is still so kyute(this is a male)

would

>>398394
>>398393
what??????? i thought casey mongillo was a TIM. wtf

>>398395
samefag i found a post on his twitter where he mentions being born male, so i was right, he's a tim

nonas looking for audio porn run to dlsite. it's all in japanese but a good chunk have subtitles. there's bl and otome audios

I feel like, if I get a vibrator and mastubate I would be no better than a moid. How can I shut this thoughts? Ik it's dumb, years of sexual liberation and the only thing holding me back is my brain

>>397344
I can't recall more information for the life of me rn but pre-rona on twitter I had a coomer friend who told me about a JAV subculture of "ikemen" guys who starred in softcore videos. They even did fanmeets like kpop idols and many women would go to them. She sent me links to some but I only remember one called something like black white ittetsu.

So idk, there's that. Entirely catered to the female POV, supposedly. J ladies seem to like it.

>>397422
Bookmarked. God bless nonnie.
>>398319
I see it as freeing myself from "needing" a moid. Their only purpose in my life rn is dick and if I can do it myself, they're not needed at all. IDK your circumstance but if your "years of sexual liberation" is referring to sleeping around, that's probably why you feel the way you do. Hook ups never benefit women. Don't compare yourself to scrotes.

>>398321
Wasn't about hook ups, I refered to the cultural side like, it's not taboo anymore I know I shouldn't feel ashamed. I tend to be a expectator in my life rather than participant. Guess I'm just afraid of self exploration

A guy asked me out on a date for Sunday today after we had been talking since earlier this week. Now, he went from asking questions and replying to my long messages with equally long messages pretty much instantly even though I usually took hours to respond (not because of mind game reasons or anything), to giving a really short reply and then leaving me on read after I shared something funny that happened during my day. I'm super embarrassed because my last message was a joke kek the worst type of message to be left on read on.
Is this some shit scrotes think they need to do, ignoring the woman the days before the date? Or is it a generally advised thing? The last time I online dated was like eight years ago, so I don't know the etiquette nowadays. Obviously I don't want to continue with the paragraphs of "getting to know you" messages, because then we'd have nothing to talk about irl anymore. I just thought little one sentence chats with maybe a pic or a meme or some shit would be a fun way to keep the contact going until we meet.

>>398559
He's talking to someone else now.

>>398561
Eh, I doubt it, we are both vegan so our dating pool is incredibly small.

>>398562
Nta but veganism isn't THAT rare, especially with the convenience of dating apps. I'm not saying he's definitely talking to someone else but it's a plausible possibility.

>>398559
Those long "getting to know you" sessions are usually bullshit we do when we don't vibe with someone. When you hit it off with someone, you don't have to sit down and tell your life story, that part usually just comes out bit by bit as your relationship progresses. Any time I went on a date with somebody and we didn't connect it just turns into the same boring information sharing session and eventually you ghost them because it's awkward and you didn't catch feelings.

Also, moids are usually very obvious when they are into you, especially when you haven't let them hit yet. If he's not instantly responding to you this early on I say drop him and move on

I obsessively neeeed to know what someone’s pussy would feel like on mine. Whenever I fantasise about someone my most desperate urge is to press my labia against hers and rub my clit on her (mine sticks out a bit when I’m aroused). I’ve never tried tribbing before but imagining it throbbing and her getting her wetness all over my vulva is… wow.

>>398235
Kek nona, I desperately need someone to do all that to me.

>>398337
>mine sticks out a bit when I’m aroused
I’m imagining disrespectfully

NEED a woman to shove my head into her pussy

i simply need to feel her ring on my pussy while she tries to get another knuckle deep

it's slutty but you wouldn't get it

>>392616
Yeah I don’t

>>392616
Don't worry nona i understand…

>>392616
I think I understand you. The straight shape of the metal vs the slight reveal of the back of the thigh.

>>392616
I can never get into the "covered moid" thing because the man feels like a parasite inhabiting the body of the machine. I start desiring the metal itself and hate the man in it. Autistic car fuckers will get it